My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
