So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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