Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
