Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
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