sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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