yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
