Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
People in love make me want to vomit
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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