Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
