In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
