soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
