Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize