I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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