That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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