I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
no you cant smoke seaweed
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
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Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Randomize