You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
