she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
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