Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Randomize