its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
