you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
