so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
