just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
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