If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why can't burritos get me drunk
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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