there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
