Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
