Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
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Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
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The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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