A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I have post one night stand depression
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