I'm lost and stupid without you.
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Randomize
