Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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