Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize