Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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