I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
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