I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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