I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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