He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
