he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
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dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Randomize