All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
