i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize