in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
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