did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
