After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.