She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks