Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
one might say we're banned from that church
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently