Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
be right there i have to get my cape
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
