Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize