I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
