its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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