Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
