from now on my penis is your penis
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
