Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize