So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
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