You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
