i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize