i barfeds in our rink
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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