Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
