Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
