I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
