They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
We're too hungover to prance.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
