there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Randomize
