He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cat food counts as protein by the way
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
So apparently I’m into choking now
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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